Growing Up, Peter Pan Syndrome and Roald Dahl

So I have been absolutely terrible at blogging lately, I think it's been just under a month since I last came on Blogger at all, but logging in today I found this post I wrote a while ago, unpublished, but finished. If, like me, you're feeling terrified by the realisation that you actually exist and have to figure out something you have to do with the rest of your life and quickly, or, as is more likely, you're not and have no idea what I'm talking about, please have a read. I know I'm publishing this a bit late for Halloween, but seriously finally figuring out that I'm an actual person scared me far more than anything I've seen in the last week, so if you're not ready to be done with all that is frightening this October/ November then enjoy..:

Recently I've been feeling completely confused and scared by the whole idea of growing up. Maybe it's because I'm going to be 18 and 'legally an adult' in about a month, or maybe because I've finally sent off my university application to 5 universities, the one I eventually go to determining the course of the rest of my life. What used to be Roald Dahl's 'Revolting Rhymes' has turned into Angela Carter's 'The Bloody Chamber', worrying about homework deadlines has turned into worrying about the meaning of life... actually deadlines are still there, but that's not the point. Everyone around me is having an  existential crisis and nobody has any idea what to do about it (enter Dan Howell, I'll post his amazing YouTube video below..).

And for some unknown reason I've taken comfort in Roald Dahl of all things. I've never been someone to believe in 'growing out' of things - why shouldn't a book that meant a lot to me when I was younger still mean a lot to me now? The whole idea of having to renounce things just because you're apparently 'too old' to like it anymore is just ridiculous to me. But anyway.. I saw a Roald Dahl quote the other day and it just got me thinking how much of a great writer he really was:

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”

Someone with such a vivid, wild imagination - an imagination that came up with Willy Wonka and the Witches and everything that made so many childhoods great - probably didn't ever really grow up at heart. And why should any of us? We move from being these amazing human beings, wanting to do everything we can and living completely in the moment when we're children, to depressed, scared people with little imagination, unable to live without worrying about the past or future. Obviously that's a generalisation, but seeing Roald Dahl quotes pop up on the internet every now and then always reminds me of what I should really be worrying about in my every day life, if I should be worrying about anything at all.

And then the other night, whilst having a Tim Minchin marathon on YouTube, I stumbled across 'When I Grow Up' from Matilda the musical. Oh my God this song. I can't even describe my love for it. Yes it's a happy song, but there's also an almost wistful quality to it that sums up everything I'm feeling at the moment. We go through our early childhoods believing our parents are something like invincible. We say "when I grow up I'm going to be...tall/smart/brave/etc. just like my Mum/ Dad", and then at some point, unconsciously, we let life take over and everything changes, days flying by in a blur of school, teenage arguments and homework. Until one day we actually realise what's happened. Suddenly we're reaching our late-teens, our childhood gone, and we take a look at ourselves and think that all the things we thought we would have become by now we haven't, or at least not yet. We realise that, although we always thought our Mums and Dads would never be afraid of anything, they would probably be just as scared as anyone else were someone they love to be threatened. Of course it's not a bad thing to learn that all people are just as human as ourselves, but there is something sad about the realisation that most of what you believe at a young age isn't true. So then looking at Minchin's lyrics from those two perspectives, the optimistic, child-like side and what some would depressingly call the 'realistic', they can become so profound and beautiful it just makes me want to cry...

When I grow up,

I will be tall enough to reach the branches

That I need to reach to climb the trees

You get to climb when you're grown up.

And when I grow up,

I will be smart enough to answer all

The questions that you need to know 

The answers to before you're grown up.

And when I grow up,

I will eat sweets every day,

On the way to work, and I will

Go to bed late every night.

And I will wake up

When the sun comes up, and I 

Will watch cartoons until my eyes go square,

And I won't care 'cause I'll be all grown up.

The point I'm getting to, I think, is that I don't want to be one of those people who is constantly terrified of the future. Who knows how we get out of what could become an endless cycle of fear, but it seems most people do make their way out of it at some point, or at least learn to deal with it, so fingers crossed :). Peter Pan Syndrome and existential crisis is most definitely the most scary thing I've come across this Halloween, and maybe existence and 'growing up' is just something everyone has to realise and deal with before being chucked out of the school system into a world of university, jobs, taxes and fending for yourself. Who knows? But until I do find out what the point of life is, I will try to view the world with "glittering eyes" and not be too depressed by the idea that I probably never will own a bakery called 'Valjean's', much as I want that to happen. :) Have a happy day!

The Reckless Engineer

'The Reckless Engineer' really isn't the kind of book I would usually read. Actually if I saw it on the shelf in a book shop I'd probably take one look at the title and, shamefully, completely disregard it. So it was actually quite lucky that a few weeks ago Jac Wright emailed me asking me to read and review his book before it's published in a couple of months. At a time when I need to force myself to read books from different genres this was perfect...

I guess I would describe this book as a modern combination of Dickens and maybe Poirot. Actually I want to say Miss Marple because Jeremy, the protagonist, is something like an amateur detective, a bit like Marple, except he's not in his 70s... and he doesn't carry knitting. Hmmm, maybe just think Agatha Christie-type crime, detective novel with Dickensian descriptions... Anyway. It was so, so much better than I was expecting it to be, and I might even be a new convert to detective, suspense-type novels. 

The story follows engineer Jeremy Stone as his best friend, Jack, is accused of the murder of his lover Michelle (or as I and many of the characters affectionately liked to refer to her: 'the bitch'). Jeremy spends his time trying to clear Jack's name whilst the high-profile case is continuously hounded by the press, and other suspects all hinder his process while trying to save themselves. Along the way there are plenty of twists and turns and at one point there were about 9 suspects, all with plausible motives, virtually no alibis, and each equally threatening in their own right; basically you have not a clue who committed the crime until very few pages before the end.

I loved that there was actual description throughout, something which is all too often lost in contemporary novels in lieu of supposedly fast-paced plots. In this book the reader is treated to both. Although this doesn't mean that there weren't things that did annoy me at times; for example there was very little description of male characters compared to females. At the end of the novel I still had no idea what the main character looked like, while pretty much every female character had been extensively described as 'sexy' or something similar, having at least a paragraph of description each. Not that that's a bad thing, but when the male protagonist wasn't described at all I became a little desperate for a male jaw here and there... (Basically the feminist in me got angry, ugh). And if Jeremy, the protagonist, is supposed to look something like Scott Eastwood, and another character like Richard Armitage, as the author has suggested, then I can't really understand why you wouldn't want to describe them. Seriously, look at his beautiful face...

This led me to think that the book is more targeted towards a male audience, although females can clearly still enjoy it. It's the kind of book I might give to by Dad or brother for Christmas in the hope that they may actually read something - it's definitely a novel I can imagine someone becoming so engrossed in they can't put it down until they finally discover 'who dunnit'. And the ending completely took me by surprise which made me so happy. Like in a Sherlock Holmes novel the answers had gone unnoticed while subtly being there all along, and so when the killer was revealed I was left open-mouthed and completely shocked. This made me so happy since it happens so rarely. So, just, yay!

There were plenty of characters I didn't like and if Michelle hadn't been murdered at the outset I might have had to kill her myself (I'm not quite sure how that would work, but just go with it..). I saw Jack, the accused, as a dirty cheater for most of the book, although he does become more sympathetic later; and most of the suspects were of the threatening thug type you seem to find in fiction and luckily never in real life (or maybe I just live a seriously secluded life while everyone else is running around shooting each other, who knows..). But as Wuthering Heights has proved, unlikeable characters do not make for a bad book, and in cases such as this I think they actually add to the enjoyment of the book as you begin to hope that maybe somehow they'll all be arrested.

I would really recommend this book for anyone who wants to expand the genres they are reading, any men, and anybody who loves crime novels. It was also great to see the influence of Dickens throughout the book with heavier scenes interspersed with some light humour - a drunken phone call between Jeremy and his lawyer friend particularly springs to mind here - not to mention some great description throughout. So, yes, I was pleasantly surprised by this book and now I'm going to go and order J.K. Rowling's 'The Cukoo's Calling' since I think this book might have triggered a detective and crime novel fetish I had no idea I had. 7/10.

Have a Happy Saturday!

Is it possible to read too much?

“You get a little moody sometimes but I think that's because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up.” - Pat Conroy.

This quote describes me so perfectly it's actually a little depressing. It might be the completely-out-of-proportion, never-going-to-come-true expectations that pretty much everyone who reads have at some point in their lives, particularly when it comes to romance. Or maybe it's the many weird and wonderful characters who, when you read a book, can become almost like friends. But most likely for me anyway, I think it's probably the amount I get confused between what is real life and what is fiction that makes me "a little fucked up". I mean, it took me nigh on a year to convince myself that, no, Jean Valjean never existed, and will never exist. (*sob*)
I also find that I can get so completely lost in the world of a book that the lives of the characters in whichever book I might be reading start to become more important than my own. And I know I'm not alone in this, mainly because Carrie Fletcher (YouTuber and the West End's current Eponine) frequently says she has the same problem. And maybe it really is a problem. 
For example, last year, when I was supposed to be revising for exams, I decided to pick up A Tale of Two Cities, just to read a few chapters - BIG mistake. 400 pages and many, many tears later, I had no idea what to do with myself. That book destroyed my mind. I was inconsolable for LITERALLY weeks, and it's seriously not good to keep having your mind drift to complex characters like Sydney Carton when you're supposed to be writing about Plato, or the Crusades, or whatever exam that was, I can't even remember.
But then, reading is clearly a good thing to do: it develops the imagination; reading other people's writing is supposed to improve your own; and reading offers the escape from reality that everyone needs at some point in their lives. So maybe the question that really needs to be asked is this: can you become too emotionally involved in the books you read? ... and the answer to that, as much as I want to say otherwise, is probably, yes.

“Isn't it odd how much fatter a book gets when you've read it several times?...As if something were left between the pages every time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells...and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book had preserved you like a pressed flower...both strange and familiar.” - Cornelia Funke

And then you read quotes like that; writing that is so beautiful, and so true, it makes me want to sob for a reason I'm not quite sure of. And so, maybe, yes, you can get too emotionally involved in books - and I'm sure my friends have told me too many times that nobody else cares about the book I'm reading, and I should let it go just a tad. But I don't want to. And maybe it's okay to take your chances, and read books to learn as much as you can, both about writing, and about humanity. Maybe one day I'll realise that it's better to simply live my own life, but I don't really see why I can't do both; why shouldn't I let 'The Book Thief' make me cry, or 'Crime and Punishment' make me want to throw it across the room?? And the great thing about books is that they can show you how you grow - while I HATED 'Anna Karenina' when I first read it two years ago, when I've grown up a bit maybe I'll have a different opinion. Just like a few years ago, I'm ashamed to admit it but I liked 'Twilight', and now I pretty well loathe it. 

Books will always have an important place in society and I can't really imagine life without them. And maybe I'll find out in a few years that I did become too involved in the books I read, but for now I'm going to continue to let books be a big part of my life, and be glad that I have something to be enthusiastic and fangirl about when I see people everyday who don't have anything to get excited about. And, right now, I'm going to go make some tea and carry on reading 'The Mill on the Floss'. 

Happy Monday! :)

He is more myself than I am...

So much for becoming a regular blogger, it's been a month since my last post... oops.

Right now I should be doing history homework but I've already written two essays today and so I'm taking a break to talk about, of all things, Wuthering Heights. Hence the soppy title.

Wuthering Heights was my first re-read of 2013 (leaving it a bit late I know) and I'll be honest, I mainly picked it up because I have to study it for my English A level - I'm so happy about that I can't even explain. This book makes me fangirl an embarrassing amount, and most of the time that happens in the worst possible places - like when a friend mentions the book in the common room and I suddenly become unable to use proper words, settling instead on making noises and flapping my hands around. 

Anyway, Emily Brontë is such a brilliant writer, even though I hated pretty much every. single. character, I loved the book enough to make it one of my new favourites. I first read it when I was about 13 so I didn't really understand much of what was going on. But this time, Heathcliff completely came alive, jumping out from the pages every time he spoke, Cathy was about the most hateful character I think I've ever read about (ugh, I can't even explain how much I hate her), and lovely Edgar Linton made me want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him out of his stupid love for Cathy. 

This is the most quotable book I've read in a long time, and I think Cathy was the only character I hated the whole way through. I felt a lot of things for Heathcliff: pity when he was first taken into Mr Earnshaw's hands and mistreated by Hindley, sympathy when Cathy married another man despite her love for him, and anger when he became basically a cruel psychopath by the end of the book. 

“Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!”

It's definitely Brontë's beautiful writing that makes this book the classic that it is, well that and the somewhat depressing, confusing, but ultimately passionate plot. You can tell that, with all Brontë writes about the soul, and if the soul exists, her writing certainly comes from there. It's one of the most passionate books I've ever read, and it's that which makes her loathsome characters anywhere near relatable. Reading it makes you realise  that there's a part of every character you read about in books within you, even if those characters are slightly strange, like Heathcliff. And so I've come to the conclusion that Emily Brontë was a genius.

Maybe the way to judge whether a book is good or not is to decide whether or not you would re-read it. And although I'll HAVE to re-read it for my exam next year, I think I can safely say I would re-read this book out of choice, although I might leave a bit of a bigger gap in between reads if I had a choice.

There were only two characters I actually liked: Edgar Linton and Hareton Earnshaw. Both of them were lovely, and in a book with mostly nasty characters, I almost had to latch on to the 'quite nice' ones to stay sane. Mostly Hareton and Edger are the characters you feel sorry for whilst both generations of Cathys basically tear them to pieces. What I did like about Wuthering Heights was the contrast between Heathcliff and Cathy's destructive love (or should that be lust?) and the happy love presented at the end of the novel. Brontë definitely makes it clear which love she thinks the most healthy, although if she led the secluded life we are all lead to believe you can't help but wonder if she was dreaming of her own Heathcliff somewhere in the world, waiting for him to save her from the apparently boring life she was leading. 

So no, I'm not now in love with Heathcliff as many women are who read this book are, apparently. Although, having said that who wouldn't want to say that their boyfriend is "more myself than I am"? 

Wuthering Heights is such an amazing book, if you haven't read it yet, seriously go read it now, it's so, so good. But be prepared to feel like Martin Freeman at the beginning of 'The Hobbit' when you start out - i.e. yelling "I'm going on an adventure" whilst running off into the hills; you'll probably have no idea where the book is going most of the time, but it's worth it when you finally work out who everyone is, and how everyone is related to everyone else. It honestly will be one of the best books you will ever read. Have a happy Sunday! 10/10

I got tagged! - my 10 favourite movies...

So, I got tagged by Miss Jane Bennet over at Classic Ramblings and I think this involves me writing down my 10 favourite movies (I'm actually not sure I have 10, but we'll see as I go along) and why I like them... should be fun :)

Apparently there are some rules, so here they are: 

1. List favourite movies (in no particular order)

2. Post James Movie Tribute Video somewhere on your blog 

3. Tag other blogs (optional)

1. NOTTING HILL: Oh my goodness, this film. It's romantic, funny, and has the line "happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat", which I think speaks for itself...

2. TANGLED: Flynn Ryder, dreams and great songs. This film is pretty much as perfect as any film could get. And I'm probably not as ashamed as I should be to admit that I have a pretty big crush on a cartoon character (all I'm saying is at least this one is human, and I stand by the fact that Simba is an attractive lion) moving very swiftly on...

3. LES MISERABLES: Of course this one has to be a favourite. It makes me cry EVERY time at the finale, and it brought Les Mis to a wider audience, which is nice.

4. THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (25th ANNIVERSARY): does this one count as a film? I don't much care, I'm going to include it anyway because I adore it. Hadley Fraser, marry me?

5. Too many Disney films to mention: mainly TARZAN, THE LION KING and BEAUTY & THE BEAST, but pretty much most of them. It's actually quite embarrassing how much I love Disney movies, but there's something about the classics and the songs that will never get old - everyone loves a bit of nostalgia, after all... and if I ever have kids, they will watch these films, even if they don't like them.

6. FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis together in one film? It was bound to be great anyway, but then they just made it hilarious too, at the same time as being unbelievably cute. Definitely a feel good film...

7. 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU: Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt just make this film. And the "Can't take my eyes off of you" scene is perfect.

8. THE HOLIDAY: Just saying Jude Law is probably enough explanation for this one.

9. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE: Every Christmas this film can be found on in my house -  not because it's a family tradition, most of the time it's just me sat in front of the TV with my duvet and a big bar of chocolate, but I've made it my own tradition, because it's lovely. 

10. THE LEGEND OF BAGGER VANCE: The spiritual hippie in me loves this film. A movie about golf really isn't that appealing on the face of it, but really it's about life. And it has Will Smith spouting life lessons, which I wouldn't miss for the world :)

And the person I'm going to tag is Jess :) Happy Wednesday!!

A Thousand Splendid Suns

"One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs, or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls"

People have been telling me to read Khaled Hosseini's 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' for

years but it wasn't until recently, when I saw it staring at me from my crowded shelves of unread books, that I decided it was finally time to pick it up and start reading. 

This is the kind of book that it's virtually impossible to put down, and so you rush through the first pages until, as the end approaches, you suddenly realise that you don't want it to finish and so slow down as much as possible to take in the final 20 or so pages. 

This was such a touching book, although Hosseini does make you feel a multitude of different emotions as you read: from horror and despair, to disbelief and at some moments disgust. And then only pages later you are heartened, hopeful, and at times even joyous. 
But is this book better than The Kite Runner? Honestly, I'm not sure it is, and of course this is purely a matter of opinion and every reader will think differently, but for me there was just something more about The Kite Runner that had me thinking about it for days after I read the final page. In contrast, only days after finishing A Thousand Splendid Suns, the story is almost (almost) gone from my mind. But I did really enjoy it while I was reading it, and it's definitely a book that is difficult to put down. Also I'm not sure anyone needs to decide which book is better; they're both now favourites of mine, joining many other books which it would be so difficult to rank... basically what John Green said when asked what his favourite book was - "you want just one??!"
Hosseini really does have a way with words and there were so many 'quotable' sentences. The characters were great and I loved that the female characters ended up taking control of their own destinies, rather than waiting for men to sort everything out for them. (Hosseini even says that "a society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated" - this quote makes me happy, and ironically, especially since it's written by a man). 
One of the great things about Hosseini's books is that they offer westerners an insight into Afghan society. I often feel bad at how little I know about the situation in the east with multiple wars that seem to have been taking place forever. It's even difficult to connect with the areas when disasters such as bombings are shown on the news, and so books like this will always be needed to remind us of all the atrocities that are taking place in the eastern world, and the fact that those events are just as bad there as they would be if bombings took place here. We just hear far less about it. 
There is even some much needed romance in Hosseini's book, in the form of Tariq. Although he isn't present for much of the story, you do get the feeling that he is always there in thought, and he gets to say one of the most beautiful and wonderfully soppy lines in the book: "I will follow you to the ends of the world" -- I may or may not have let out a very long (and very loud) "awwwwwwwh" at this point...

There are **SPOILERS** from this point on...

“Miriam wished for so much in those final moments. Yet as she closed her eyes, it was not regret any longer but a sensation of abundant peace that washed over her. She thought of her entry into this world, the harami child of a lowly villager, an unintended thing, a pitiable, regrettable accident. A weed. And yet she was leaving the world as a woman who had loved and been loved back. She was leaving it as a friend, a companion, a guardian. A mother. A person of consequence at last. No. It was not so bad, Miriam thought, that she should die this way. Not so bad. This was a legitimate end to a life of illegitimate beginnings.”

This quote is so beautifully written and is a perfect example of the overriding message of love presented throughout the book as a conquerer of everything, even the opinions of society. For me it also reminds me of what Dr Wayne Dyer - I love this man, he's so great :) - repeats again and again: that material objects are absolutely nothing, after all when we die we can't take any 'stuff' with us, and the love you give to all those around you is everything. Miriam really was a great character and I'm not quite sure I can forgive Hosseini for killing her, although I guess he did kind of make up for it, if only a little, with Laila's pregnancy at the end. I like that he left it up to the reader to decide the gender of her baby, and I'd be willing to bet most people who read the book like to think she has a girl. 

The last sentence of the book was beautiful and finished off the novel in a way that leaves the reader satisfied, rather than annoyed at the lack of a decent ending. So often the ending of books can be wrong (I'm still annoyed about 'Before I go to Sleep', ughh) but this one was just right and Hoseini's tone remained the same until the very end.

I'm definitely looking forward to reading his next book 'And the Mountains Echoed' at some point in the near future and if his first two books are anything to go by, it'll be absolutely amazing! 9/10.

Sherlock

I can officially now label myself a 'Cumberbitch', and I'm proud of that fact. I had caught a couple of episodes of 'Sherlock' here and there while they were on TV but, although I wanted to watch it, the BBC series somehow evaded me for 2 years. But then my friend offered to lend me her boxset and I'm fairly sure I'm now suitably obsessed. Since yesterday evening I've watched all 9 hours of the first two series, despite the 30 degree heat outside, meaning I'm just as pale as ever but probably not as unhappy about that as I should be. Ugh, it's just so perfect.
Every so often you find a series in which every episode is just as amazing as the one that came before it. Friends was the first. And then came 'North and South' and 'Emma' in terms of period drama. And then there was Merlin, Miranda and of course Downton Abbey (the last Christmas episode doesn't count, I've wiped that from my memory). And now we have Sherlock, and it might just be the best of the lot. There's a wonderful combination of serious drama and comedy about Sherlock that makes it a fantastic series which I hope will never become tired. And it's always nice to have a light-hearted drama on TV to counteract the increasingly depressing EastEnders. 

The reworking of Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes character to modernise the well-known stories and bring them into today's London, works so well I'm pretty sure it's better than the Robert Downey Jr./ Jude Law films. And I'll be honest, much of that is down to

yes, Benedict Cumberbatch will be in every picture

the brilliance of Benedict Cumberbatch. He basically makes the series and it's unlikely the whole thing would work so well without him. Additionally his pairing with Martin Freeman ('The Hobbit') as Dr. John Watson shows so much chemistry it's impossible to not believe that they're good friends. Although, having said that, I did keep shouting 'Martin' and 'Benedict' (I might have even called him 'Bennie' at some points which almost seems criminal) at the screen when something was going wrong, rather than 'Sherlock' or 'John'. Yeah... we'll forget that ever happened.
Actually it's probably a good thing I was home alone when I finally got round to watching the series because it's definitely the kind of show to get a little squealy about. Whether that's at the appearance of Benedict Cumberbatch's beautiful face on screen, or yelling at him not to jump off that building... and then later becoming a teeny bit hysterical when he appeared alive in the graveyard. 
Ever since Sherlock faked his own death in the last episode the internet has been alive with conjecture as to how he did it. Personally I have absolutely no idea. Not a clue. Perhaps Mycroft helped, perhaps he didn't. Maybe the man on the bicycle who knocked over Watson was involved, maybe he wasn't. After much wondering I've decided it's probably best to just wait for the new series to find out, although the only person I would bet on being involved is Molly. And I want her and Sherlock to get together. Ugh, there I said it. Seriously it would be so, so cute. Hmmm, maybe I'll send Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss a letter one day. 

I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with myself waiting for the next series of Sherlock - hopefully the rumours that the air date has been pushed back to 2014 are untrue as I'm not sure I can wait that long. It has been released this week that the brilliant Moriarty will be replaced by a new nemesis by the name of Charles Augustus Magnusson. I've never heard of that character before but I'm sure it will be great, even if it will be difficult to replace Andrew Scott's wonderfully mental Moriarty. And the only other clue we have about the next series are three words: Rat, wedding and bow. What the hell that means I have no idea - does it mean bow as in tying a bow?? or bow as in take a bow?? I'm guessing the last one but I can't be the only person confused, right?
Sherlock is without doubt the best series that's been on TV in a while - I can't believe I'm saying this but it might even beat Downton. And so for as long as I can I shall try to wait patiently until Sherlock returns, but meanwhile I think I might just have to order the boxset of the first two series and satisfy myself with those 6 episodes for the next few months. Seriously, 3 episodes does not constitute a series!!! 10/10

Nelson Mandela day - a day late

I started writing this post yesterday but got distracted by the weather and TV and sleep, so it's now a day late, but hopefully relevant just the same...
On Nelson Mandela's 95th birthday, I decided it was time to finally find out about all the amazing things this great man has done throughout his life. At a time when Mandela's health is poor, we are all reminded just how human each and every person is; no one is exempt from the powers of nature, but each of us have health for a certain period of our lives and numbered days to make a difference. It's difficult to find positives in the very negative situation that is Mandela's ill-health. However, it does emphasise the fact that we are all human, no matter who we are or what we do, and someone like Mandela is a fantastic reminder of all that ANY human can do if we only put our minds to something and put ourselves out there. Taking a risk for the slight possibility that we might make a difference to somebody's life, no matter how small and apparently insignificant that difference may be. 

Knowing pretty much nothing about Mandela other than the fact that he was in prison for a while, I decided to start easy first and look at the BBC primary history website. From this I've found that he was in prison for 27 years after fighting through the organisation of rebel groups to overthrow the pro-apartheid government of South Africa (I'll admit I didn't know what that meant, but google tells me apartheid is a policy of segregation/ discrimination on racial grounds). While in prison, Mandela was hailed as a great man and was well respected, even by many prison guards. On release in 1990, he soon became the first black president of South Africa (1994), confirming his title as a hero in the eyes of many. I'm guessing most people know this information already so I'm going to add in some fun facts I found in the side bar: there is a spider named after Mandela; apparently while in prison and after his release Mandela rose early every morning and began exercising at 4:30am (I wish I had his level of motivation); and finally, Mandela's famous brightly coloured shirts are called 'Madiba' shirts, linking back to his nickname. 

It's probably a fair comment that most prestigious people have come out with a few pretty good quotes in their time, and Mandela certainly didn't let down. My favourite of his quotes include: "A winner is a dreamer who never gives up", "No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than it's opposite", and "it always seems impossible until it's done". While looking at these quotes I began to find it difficult to imagine how any mind can put together words and sentences so beautiful as to encapsulate all that any human can want and feel throughout their lives. I've certainly always found quotes a very humbling thing. However, to continue the train that Mandela is just a normal person, his quotes are interesting because, as I said before, all he is doing is putting the thoughts that are deep within each human heart into words, words which all can understand and hopefully begin to put into practice. And that's a fantastic thing to be able to do. But it also defines Mandela again as no different from all the rest of us; to put together speeches the words used must strike a cord with not only the audience but also the speaker, allowing all listeners to come together and unify in one single thought or emotion, each wanting the same thing. So just because Mandela is the speaker reaching out to his audience doesn't make him any different from the rest of us, of course he might be able to string a sentence together better, or have the bravery to put himself out there, but at his core is the exact same substance that is rooted in all of us. As long as we can all remember that, anything can be possible, just as Mandela has proved.
I'm not saying that all of us will be the next Nelson Mandela, or even could be (we all have our own strengths). But we do all have the skills to be the best version of ourselves that we can be, achieving all we are able and making any small differences possible - be it conducting a charity cake sale, or even just smiling at a stranger in the street. We should never underestimate our ability to make a difference and Mandela is a perfect example of that (even if his difference was on a much larger scale than the majority of us will achieve). And actually what has taken me a whole post to try and write about can be summed up in a couple of simple lines from the great man himself: "There is no passion to be found in playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living".

Imagine...

If I ever have children, I am determined that they will watch every good Disney movie that I saw and loved in my childhood, and which still make me so happy even when I'm in the worst possible mood. Chatting to a friend about this the other day, she mentioned that, in her opinion, Disney gives a false message of hope to children which just isn't realistic in today's society. We should give children a warning when they watch the films that this is not reality and never will be. Well, if that's true then we live in a worse world than I thought. (There's a strong possibility this post could get preachy, I'm sorry if it does but I'll try hold back :) )

To enforce the idea in children that the fantasy worlds they escape to are not real would be a harsh and cruel thing to do. Especially since these are the ideas we cling to throughout much of life, that there might just be the slightest possibility that things will be okay in the end. A life where "Hakuna matata" really does mean no worries for the rest of your days; where "all it takes is faith and trust" to achieve anything you want; where "if you dream about something more than once it's sure to come true". I'm a real believer in the idea that happiness is a choice you make every morning, you can let tiredness or sadness overcome you, or you can realise that what you are feeling is just that, a feeling. It doesn't need to become real or control your day. So to take away from children the idea that dreams do come true if you hold on to them and that you can be happy in the end, no matter what, for me would be one of the biggest mistakes that could ever be made.

This also got me thinking about John Lennon's song 'Imagine'. I'm still not entirely sure why, but maybe it was something to do with the line "you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one". I'm totally aware that I sound like a deluded teenager who hasn't enough experience of life to know the true hardships that challenge happiness. And that's absolutely true. But I also know that, living in the Western world, I have so much to be thankful for, almost no right to be unhappy, and even less right to teach children that they can never be happy either. I'll always remember when I was about 13 I started waiting for sadness or some kind of depressed feeling to hit me, just because in the majority of contemporary literature and music there are so many people telling you how sad you should be, and very few saying you can be happy. But that unhappy feeling never came, and I have to remind myself to be thankful for that every day. I heard once that "if the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough" and, although a lot of the time you do have to remind yourself to be thankful and happy with what you have, once you realise how lucky you are it's amazing how much every moment can come alive with, for want of a better word, 'niceness'. I think I read somewhere that feeling is called your 'bliss' but don't quote me on that one.

It's actually quite funny how seriously some people take life when you actually stop to watch them and if I ever become like that I hope someone slaps me in the face. There will always be more important things than which friend or colleague was rude today, which family member is being grumpy, or which shop assistant was less than helpful.  Obviously I can't speak for other people, but personally I started to enjoy life so much more when I heard Don Miguel Ruiz on Oprah's 'Super Soul Sunday' talking about not taking things personally. The judgements of all others come from their point of view and have absolutely nothing to do with you. Anything anybody else says about you is their own assumption and to take these things personally can in fact be considered selfish as this presumes that everything is about you. Seriously everybody should go watch that video on YouTube, these people are so wise I don't even understand. 

I'm now preaching way too much so I'm going to stop writing and leave you with some wise words from people who know a lot more about this stuff than I do: John Lennon (the little story in the picture above) and Lenka singing 'The Show'. Have a happy day !!

The Hunger Games

"May the odds be EVER in your favour"

While I'm writing this post I'm overly conscious of the fact that I'm about 5 years late in discovering 'The Hunger Games'. I'd avoided the series for so long, but last Thursday I finally gave in and borrowed all three books from a friend. One week and 1408 pages later, I can't believe I held back so long.

I mean obviously 'The Hunger Games' is stereotypical teen fiction; not all that well written, kind of cheesy awkward love triangle and flagging towards the end. But the thing that made THG good for me was the plot. It's been so, so long since I've read books that I literally couldn't put down. Everything I was supposed to do in the last week has been put to one side (and still isn't done), leaving me with hours to just sit and read. When I had to rip myself away from the pages to go to school, it was all I could think about and I had to make a conscious effort to not keep raising the books with all my friends since they've mostly become bored with the whole thing by now, years after they first read the books. 

I'm not sure how long the books will stay with me as something that actually affected me, they were more just a guilty pleasure to enjoy at the end of a busy day of forcing myself through triple psychology. But there's definitely something to be said for contemporary books with relatively unique story lines since it seems almost impossible to come up with something that hasn't been done before, considering the innumerable amount of books that have already been written across the world over thousands of years. If I had to compare it to another book though, I would say the basic idea is a little like '1984', what with the repressive government and murder of those who oppose that authority.

The gorgeous Josh Hutcherson as Peeta

Also, Peeta. Just. Peeta. It used to be a good thing if I fell in love with the male lead of a book, but really this is happening so often now it's becoming a little ridiculous. And there are so many boys to fall in love with in THG, do I even need to mention Gale and Finnick's names?? Peeta is one of the sweetest characters ever; I had to keep reminding myself he wasn't real and now I might just have to spend the rest of my life looking for a blonde haired, blue eyed man who isn't just strong, he's 'bakery strong'. I have a feeling I might be waiting a while. I'm going to have to move on now otherwise I'll just get upset at Peeta's non-existence again. God I'm such a teenager it's embarrassing...
I also loved that Katniss was actually a strong woman. I think I probably took more notice of this because we're studying feminism in English class at the moment, but having read mostly classic novels lately it was so nice to actually have a girl who could stand up for herself, rather than a girl who just faints all the time (Lucie Manette I'm looking at you).
So now I just need to catch up with the first movie and it's pretty likely I'll go see the rest of the series in the cinema with my friends. Although, I did just find out they've decided to split the last film in to 2 movies. Again. In my opinion, just because the 'Harry Potter' films did that, not every franchise that comes after needs to follow suit. It's just become annoying, and to be honest a little pretentious since the HP films were so big and kept going for decades rather than a few years, meaning they had to stay around for longer just to say goodbye, in a way. 
Actually, while I'm comparing, THG definitely lends itself to comparisons with Harry Potter and Twilight, except it's far, far better than Twilight and not quite as good as Harry Potter, maybe just because it wasn't as good towards the end and the plot line wasn't quite as intricately formed, although it would be difficult to match HP's complexity to be fair. But the nice thing about THG was that, like Potter, the reader is given some kind of moral message if you make the effort to pay attention to the plot and not just the romance aspect. This is probably why the book reminded me of 1984 because it really is a warning against what humanity could become in the future if we don't check ourselves, making sure we care for others instead of becoming manipulative in order to further our own progress only. 
So, although the slightly gory plot of 'The Hunger Games' may be off-putting at first, and it was definitely a contributing factor in why I put off reading the books for so long, it's probably this that could make the books anywhere close to profound (although to be honest that's probably going a bit far). But the series can make you think if you really want it to and I guess that's true of any book: you can make what you want of it. I would recommend "The Hunger Games' to anyone whether they want a book to read as an escape from reality, a book that they quite literally cannot put down, or a book that makes them want to think about life. I'm only quite sad I didn't give in and read the books earlier. 9/10